Today, women call the shots in many fields, and occupy positions at the top. But that journey to success and shattering the glass ceiling is never easy or obstacle-free, as most of these women simultaneously play homemaker, wife, mother, daughter and other roles in the course of their professional lives.
Ask Apurva Purohit, CEO, Radio City 91.1 FM, who, in her 25-year-career, has seen her female colleagues go through many personal and professional issues that affect their career trajectory. “For every one woman who has reached the top, there are a hundred others who gave up halfway through for various reasons, including not having a mentor or someone to guide them through the daily challenges of coping with the duality of a high pressure career and of managing a family,” she says.
So Purohit wrote Lady, You’re Not A Man - The Adventures of a Woman at Work – a self-help guide for women at middle manager levels, citing examples from her own life. The book relates how she manages interns and her husband, copes with balance sheets and recalcitrant children, emergencies in the office and at home, in a light-hearted manner, and ends each instance with a sensible piece of advice.
“These are lessons I hope women who read it will derive from the book; that if you accept certain realities of being a woman and learn to adapt to your circumstances to the best of your abilities, you will be able to achieve success at home and at work, on your own terms,” she says.
CHEST THUMPING IS OKAY
If you ask a male CEO for the reasons his organization is successful, he will launch into an hour-long lecture on how great he is, what a visionary leader he has been and the various strategies he has developed to counter competition, astounding the market and enthralling his shareholders along the way. The ‘I’ word will be used abundantly in the conversation.
In contrast, if you ask a woman CEO running an equally successful organization the same question, she will falter, hesitate and then meander into an Oscar-worthy speech, thanking parents, husband, ex-boyfriends and cats for their support, and praising her team, her boss and God and giving credit to everyone except herself for the wonderful job done.
Women simply find it very difficult to say good things about themselves, mostly under the assumption that they will be seen to be bragging if they compliment themselves. While men, of course, believe it is their God-given right to do so. And maybe they are not too wrong in this thinking. If you go back a stage or two in the evolution of man, when primitive man went out hunting or fighting, he had to make himself look bigger than his prey or his enemy. So a lot of noise, drum-beating, huge feathered headdresses and scarily painted faces were necessary accoutrements. Chest thumping to show superiority was an important requirement for survival.
In the meantime, the woman was staying back in the cave or tent where she was rearing and nurturing children, along with other women. In that setting and context, working together in harmony was more important than trying to show who the queen bee was. So it was not exactly an imperative to praise herself; indeed, it would have been quite counter-productive.
But things have changed today. As we women take on the hunter’s role and go out there in the corporate jungle to fight, we need to equip ourselves to do the job well, including training ourselves to do some of the things that don’t come naturally to us but are required if we want to hunt well. If you have done something to feel proud of and attained something in life, make sure you talk about it.
You have reached this position by dint of extreme hard work. You have learnt to accept many tough realities about your life and also how to adapt to and make them work for you. You have achieved success by managing to have a great career and an equally fulfilling personal life, without compromising on either. It is time to celebrate this success. Don’t shy away from saying good things about yourself, from telling your bosses and shareholders, friends and family what a great woman you truly are!
CORPORATE MANTRA OF THE DAY
Certainly praise your team and always remember to thank the people who supported you, because that’s what good managers do; but also take a few minutes to articulate the good things you yourself did, without being brash. Saying good things about yourself becomes easier if you think of yourself as another member in the team who also needs to be complimented.
APURVA PUROHIT’S 10 LESSONS OF ACHIEVEMENT
1. As I step on the ladder of success, I will remember how lucky I am
Very few women in the world have received the benefit of an education and the opportunity of using that education to gain financial independence. Let us continually remember how fortunate we are.
2. I will assert that I am an individual
It is important to deal with and debunk the stereotyping of being thought of only in context of the males in our family, as wife/mother/daughter. We must make sure that people recognize us as separate and equally important entities.
3. I will not walk away ahead of schedule
Women start preparing for marriage and motherhood far earlier than they need to and, in the process, the period when they step back from their careers grows unnecessarily long, compromising their growth. We must avoid this.
4. As a boss, I will recognise that I have to treat my male subordinates differently
Male and female subordinates have different buttons and need to be handled differently. We must keep this in mind and work accordingly for the success of our projects.
5. I am proud to be successful, smart and single
Successful single women are a critical demonstration of the freedom women have achieved in taking control of their own destinies. The sisterhood salutes them.
6. I will not let Stone Age men or zealots affect me
Regressive men and overzealous feminists are polarized ends of a spectrum and can affect women negatively. Always remain a liberal thinker on the climb to the top.
7. I do not want the crutch of reservation to succeed
Reservations tend to be mere tokenism and can actually harm the cause of women in the long run by promoting mediocrity. We should compete on a level playing field and not depend on reservations to succeed.
8. I will pay my dues to the next generation of women by mentoring the younger men around me
An important responsibility of being a woman achiever is mentoring the next generation of men so that they grow up to respect and treat women as equals.
9. As I whizz up the steps of success,
I will always remember that building a good reputation is more important than building a good CV A good reputation cannot be created in a day. It is built over millions of moments of being diligent, sincere, hardworking and ethical.
10. I will celebrate my success openly and without embarrassment
It is important to recognize and celebrate our achievements. Let us learn something from men for a change and praise ourselves whenever we need to.
“In an easy-to-read style, Apurva draws on her personal experiences of over two decades to share insights and tips to help a woman at work navigate through her challenges. Kudos to her for narrating stories with a touch of humour on a subject that is deep and intense and yet it carries a clear message at the end. Above all, it will give women the confidence to believe in themselves and succeed without having to ape men. A definite read… not just for women.”
Nitin Paranjpe, Global President, Home Care, Unilever
“It’s a tough life for women today as they forge a new path for themselves within a society that still looks at them largely in a traditional manner. Apurva’s example can help many.”
Amish Tripathi, Author of The Shiva Trilogy
