In this week’s Backbeat, Charulata Ravi Kumar, CEO, Razorfish, talks about her experience of meeting Mother Teresa in 1986 and how it impacted her.
BY CHARULATA RAVI KUMAR
CEO, Razorfish
I grew up in a very happy family that showered ample love on me, but the teens are a difficult time in anyone’s life, and I was no exception. I would often slip into volatile moods where everyone appeared to be an enemy. Life, most of all.
On one such day in 1986, when nothing seemed to be right, I was touched by Mother Teresa’s power of healing. That day, deliberating on the true meaning of life, casting off material burdens seemed the best way to deal with life’s problems. So I packed up half my cupboard for the Missionaries of Charity, a refuge I often sought to find purpose in life, donating things in selfish exchange for the love, joy and friendship of Mother’s children.
I had never tried to meet Mother before. It seemed so not possible. But that day, I needed her. Vanitha, my sister-in-law, trudged along with me, half to stand by me as a friend and half in shock and disbelief that a mere mortal could possibly set out to meet Mother Teresa! I drove in silence. We reached Mother’s doorstep at 3 pm. Our heavy knocks on the door seemed to echo into oblivion. After what seemed hours, the door opened gently to the face of a Sister. Did we wake them up? Would she be angry? We countered the guilt on our faces by holding up the goodies we had brought for the children, a bribe for a glimpse of Mother. She told us we could leave the bags with the manager. But what about Mother? No, we could not meet her during her resting time, we were told.
Our backs to closed hope, we dragged a few heavy steps to leave. Then miraculously, Sister re-opened the door and said, “Mother would like to meet you”. Our hearts trembled as we sat waiting on a small bench near the prayer hall, repeating the words “Mother would LIKE to meet you”. Why did she not say “Mother will meet you?” Did Mother know everything?
Finally the moment arrived. Mother took small steps towards me. I was shaking, unable to control the multitude of emotions that raged inside. She came closer. She hugged me, wrapping all of me in her small gentle palms. How did I fit in there? Was I not twice as tall as her? Pulling me gently to sit closer, holding my hand all along, she talked to me, about my life, my family, anything I wanted to blurt out. Strong currents paced up and down my spine and my trembles kept pushing me into a trance I had never experienced before. Real magic is hard to bear.
Mother then drew Vanitha close to her. Just the touch of her feeble hands sent tears rolling down her cheeks, as if in an instant, Mother had extracted all her life’s burdens. She held us both and asked if we would pray with her. It wasn’t a request. Perhaps it was the God in us speaking as the voice seemed to come from somewhere deep within us. We knelt down with her to pray, her hand firmly holding us to say she would never let go.
Praying, holding each other’s hands, is so much more powerful than folding your own hands together. A speechless calm settled in me and Vanitha. Our eyes were moist, but we weren’t crying anymore. Our bodies light, but not shaking anymore.
Prayers over, she kissed our foreheads. Her pure, light, hands with visible veins cupped our faces and her deep, light eyes had a glow that came from infinity within. Her peaceful smile teasingly revealed the many lines that were paths of retribution to many.
Mother had made us more ready for our world. With one more hug that lasted endlessly, we took her with us forever. I never tried to meet her again. I knew I had to make myself worthy for a second meeting. This journey for another encounter is now just as magical. Perhaps one day, I will meet her again. In me.
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charulata.ravikumar@razorfish.com
